My Advice: NEVER get a baby daddy

The jackass finally decided to call me back. I have been attempting to speak with him for two weeks now. I have called every other day and even left a note on his car. Today, I am done. I called his work and let them know it was in regards to the kid. He finally decides to call me back. After two freakin weeks.

He immediately starts yelling at me for saying there is an emergency with the kid. I tell him to a) stop yelling at me and b) I never said it was an emergency. If they chose to relay the message to him as an emergency, he should speak to the dispatcher about that. I just said it was in regards to the kid, and it is. I tell him that he now has to give me $560 for the summer camp and since he has not given me anything all month, I would be requiring him to pay for all of it. He asks that I pay for half. I tell him no, that is not going to happen. Regardless, he is required to pay $486 a month and how I choose to spend that is at my discretion. As he paid nothing for last month (his rationale, he has had him the whole month therefore I have no expenses related to the child. Never mind the room that still belongs to the kid, his clothes, his birthday expenses, school items, haircuts, etc.) I tell him I expect the entire $560. In all honesty, I am owed $972 so he is getting off cheap on this deal.

He says that I mentioned something to his wife about him staying the extra month. I told him that I said that as he was choosing not to pay but it is not really an option. I am not comfortable with a 14 year old child watching 3 (or 4) children regardless of the fact that it is his brother. And my child needs to learn how to be in a structured setting before he starts school in September. He tries to argue that he is doing things, therefore it is structured. I tell him the kid doesn't have a schedule (ex. baskteball from 1:30-2, swimming from 2-3:30, etc.) so this is not what I call structured. That needs to change.

But all of this makes no sense to him. He is a parent. He is being a responsible parent by NOT paying child support, but also not even spending time with him. He is responsible because the kid is at his house and not mine. The kid is being watched by a 14 year old kid-but it's okay since it's his brother. My son isn't spending time with his father. He is spending time with his brothers.

I want to scream at him. I want to make him understand that he is missing everything about my son. He doesn't know anything about him. He told me they are making him go to bed at 7:30-8 because he gets snotty when he stays up too late. I already know this. He has been like this since he was a baby. He doesn't do well when he is tired and when he plays, he plays hard so he needs more rest than most kids. He is missing his whole childhood and he just doesn't get it. My son (nor any of the other boys) doesn't have a dad, they have a father. I wanted more for my child. You could say I wanted him to have what I didn't even though what I had wasn't too bad.

So I guess all of this isn't even really about the money. It's about his oblivion to such an amazing human being that we've both created. I am proud of my son and I know he is proud of me. He loves me and I know that he loves his dad as well. I just wish his dad got the same glee out of his children saying "I love you" as I do. But that will never happen.

So here is my advice. Think really hard about who you are with. Think about five years, or even ten years down the road. Think about what you want for yourself and then decide if they fit that role. If you are adding children in there, think about them. Imagine what might happen if for some reason it just doesn't work. How committed and dedicated to you is your significant other? Is that going to be enough for someone who needs to be supported (meaning the kid)? Think about the type of person they (and you) are. Is that the type of person you want to have a duplicate of? Because as much as I love the kid, I can only hope he doesn't turn out like his father. Or in other words, the baby daddy. I am doing my part but sometimes that just isn't enough. Hopefully I am wrong.